A Trip Down Memory Lane

Today I thought I would take a trip down Memory Lane and write about my mom and some of the wonderful things she did.
My mom never got her driver's license so if we anywhere without my dad we either walked, took a taxi, or got a ride from a neighbor or my siblings once they got a license and mom got passed her fear of riding with them. What stands out most is when we would walk uptown to go shopping. We lived on the last block of Broadway down by the cemetery so walking uptown when I was little was quite a fete. We would go to Penny's, Jupiter, Orr Toy, G.C. Murphy's and the newstand on the square. Oh, and the library. For lunch I would love it when we would go to Terry's Cafeteria! My mom would always give me a quarter to put on my tray for a tip for the teenager who carried my tray for me. I must say Piqua lost a treasure when Terry's Cafeteria closed. It was on one of these walks that I learned to spell my whole name "Susan Huelskamp" so that when we got to the library that day I was able to get my first library card. That was a proud day for me.
My mother always tried to make our friends feel welcome. We had 2 fairly good size hills in our backyard that were perfect for sledding. My father was a truck driver who owned his own truck so we always had plenty of access to truck inner tubes for sledding. One time my sisters and my brother had friends over to go sledding and mom made both a huge pot of chili and a huge pot of vegetable soup to feed everyone after they were done sledding. That is just the type of person my mom was.
I believe that my mom always tried to think of other's feelings even when she was very ill with cancer. If I remember the story correctly, she made sure that even though she was in bed she put her red lipstick on so my little niece would not worry about her. My niece thought that if "grandma had her red lipstick on" then she was okay but that if she didn't then she wasn't feeling good. My mom didn't want her granddaughter to worry about her.

Thank you for indulging me on this little trip down Memory Lane. It has been 22 years since mom passed but I still think about her every day.

Life's Awesome Ride

I know that I have not blogged regularly and I am going to try to change that. It has been busy the last few months. My grandson celebrated his first birthday and we found out that he is going to have a little brother or sister come May. Also, Toby and I will be celebrating 21 years of marriage on Sunday.

Right now I am trying to ready myself for another little birdie leaving the nest. Our son Ben leaves for the Navy on November 17th. Suddenly we will be left with just one child at home. While we are looking forward to the day that our children are all grown; it is just a tad bittersweet. There will always be a part of me that misses helping out in their classrooms and going on field trips with them. One thing that does not change is that they LOVE their mama's cooking. Ben has given me a list of meals that he would like me to make before he leaves. Let's just say we are working on that list. :)

I am looking forward to the future. I can't wait to see what awaits all of my children. Marah has come into her own as a mother and her son just beams when he sees her. Ben has chosen a career path in the Navy that is going to require alot of schooling and he is really looking forward to the challenge. Travis has taken the ACT test and we are waiting on his scores for that. He is looking at going to Edison for their video game designer program. I want all of my children to be happy with their chosen paths and they seem to be happy with the choices that they are making.

Toby and I are on the edge of an exciting new time for us. We were already expecting our first child when we got married so we didn't get much "newlywed" time when we got married. Now that they are almost grown there are many things we are looking forward to doing.

I can't wait to see what happens next. Check back here if you want to come along for the ride!

Struggling

I am struggling really bad right now. With what; you ask? Whether or not God exists. My Scientific side is fighting a major battle with my Spiritual side and I am not sure who is winning. The preponderance of evidence is on the side of Science but then my Spiritual side is hit with such a remarkable miracle that makes me question everything.

I have a cousin who struggled with alcohol, drugs, and smoking for over 20 years. He had read from the bible before but one day felt compelled to go sit in his bed and read it. He felt something come over him and quit drinking and doing drugs from that point on and a few weeks later gave up cigarettes "cold turkey". He never had any withdrawal symptoms from the drugs or alcohol which in itself is something after doing them for over 20 years. There had to be a higher power at work for him. This happened to him in the 1990s but I just recently heard the story from him.

I have never been much of a church goer and I doubt that will ever change. I really don't know which way to turn for answers because I am afraid of being judged. I know that there is a quote that is something like "judge not lest you be judged" and I am thankful that most of my friends are not judgemental but some of the most judgmental people I know are "Christians".

The Budget

I do the budget in our family so I feel that if there is a problem it is my fault. We have been very lucky in that my husband has a stable job and makes good money. I just wish we would have been wiser over the years with our money decisions. I bet most of us could have written the previous sentence.

It seems like we can never get ahead; we get one thing paid off and something else comes up. We tried following Dave Ramsey's Plan and we could not stick to it. Over the years I have tried babysitting and getting a job. Babysitting was ridiculous because people want you to watch their children but they don't want to pay you. Any jobs that I could find did not make me happy because I have always been happiest as a stay-at-home wife/mother.

I have always done our budget from the time we got married. Toby says "he makes the money" so I can do the budget. I get so anal about the budget that sometimes I will do budget projections a year or more into the future. That is where I get frustrated because things don't seem to be getting paid off as fast as I would like. It was my idea to cut Cable from the budget and I was the weakling who couldn't handle it and we got it back. I'm sure if we got rid of some of our pets it would help the budget but when you love your pets how do you decide who should go?

I want to do better with our budget so that Toby and I can realize our long-term goals. We had hoped to move South after Travis graduates from high school but I don't know if/when we will be able to achieve that goal.

What ways are you "tightening your belts" to help your budget?

In The Grand Scheme Of Things; How Really Important Are Looks???

A little background info; in 2002 I had to have one of my front teeth pulled. When this had to be done I was really upset about losing a front tooth and almost immediately got a partial. That is when the problems started. My dentist at the time had a really hard time getting the partial to fit properly and once she did all seemed well. I then noticed that every time I wore it I would get a headache and it just wasn't that comfortable. Finally, a couple of years ago; I got so frustrated with it that I just threw the partial away. I thought if people couldn't look past the fact that I had a tooth missing then maybe they weren't worth me knowing.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was talking with my MIL and she was telling me how one of her front teeth broke off while she was eating the other day. She said that she was going to the dentist and getting it fixed no matter what the cost and that her sister said she looked weird/funny without the tooth there. She also said something to the effect of "I feel like a Beverly Hillbilly" or something like that. I told her that it wasn't so bad. I told her that I would like to eventually get mine fixed but money wise it wasn't a priority. She then told me that I should get it fixed before I go to school. It makes me wonder what she really thinks of me??

It amazes me how a few little comments from someone can undo the all of the positive outlook that I struggled so hard to have!

So indulge me and answer this; "how important are looks in the grand scheme of things?"

A Touchy Subject

First off, let me say sorry for being MIA for 2 weeks. I had a cookout for my birthday and then we had some relatives visit from out of state this past Saturday.

Now for the touchy subject; religion. Toby and I say our prayers before we eat our dinner and before we go to bed but we do not go to church. When the kids were little we visited some churches but we never found one that was the right fit for us. Our children have their own beliefs or "non-beliefs" if you will and as they get older and mature they will find their own way. Toby and I were raised differently as my parents did not make me go to church and Toby's parents made him go which he resented as he got older.

The reason I am writing about religion is because of some conversations that took place this weekend when the out of town relatives were visiting. They are very religious. I get so angry and frustrated about holding my tongue in my own household but I try to keep the peace. While my children have not regularly attended church they do have morals. According to my father in law since my children have not been confirmed in the church "they have no laws that they have to follow". I beg to differ! I did not get into it with him because he is not someone you can argue with. He is the type who thinks he is always right. Every visit we have to hear about how the town administrators where he lives are "out to get him". I just thank my "lucky stars" that despite being raised by this man my husband is nothing like him. He also likes to use the "B" word to describe any woman that he has a dislike or disagreement with.

I have many friends and relatives that are deeply religious but they do not feel the need to be "holier than thou" about it. I think your religious beliefs are between you and your God but if someone asks you about what you believe then yes, talk to them about it.

My Love Story

First, a little background. I am the youngest of 5 children and there is almost 12 years between my oldest sister and me. When I was younger I went and stayed with her family alot when my mom was sick or my parents just needed to get away. That is how I came to meet my wonderful husband Toby.

The Summer between my Junior year and Senior year of high school was not shaping up to be a good one. My mom was dying of cancer and my best friend and I had had a "falling out". I talked my parents and my sister into letting me go to Dansville, New York to stay with my sister's family for the summer and help her with her kids. I knew of the boy across the street because I had heard the story of him yelling at my niece just in time to stop her from getting hit by either a car or bus; it has been so long that I don't remember which.
So I am at my sister's house and I finally spot this cute guy that lives across the street. Every time he was outside on his skateboard I would find an excuse to go outside and read or putter around the yard just so I could get a look at him. I later found out that he did the same thing when he saw me outside. We finally met like a week or two after I was there. We became friends and then it was 4th of July weekend and my sister, her family, and I made a quick trip to Ohio to visit my mom. Then it was back to New York. Toby invited me to go to Pizza Hut with him and his parents on that Friday night. That was our first date; talk about being nervous! He and his family went to Olean, New York that weekend to visit family so I didn't see him again until that Sunday night. From then on we were inseparable.

It was very hard to say goodbye to him that August. Some would say that we were too young to know what we wanted but we knew we were in love. He was planning to fly out to come visit me towards the end of August but those plans changed on August 18th.

On August 18th, 1988 my mom lost her courageous battle with cancer. When my sister and family arrived the next day, Toby was with them. He was there for me when my mom died and has been my rock ever since.

During our Senior year our relationship was mostly long distance. There were alot of phone calls and letters. After August, we didn't get to see each other in person until Thanksgiving. After that, it wasn't until February when he got to come down to Ohio for a week during their Mid-Winter break from school. During this visit he formally proposed to me on Valentine's Day. After this visit, he came down about once a month until he graduated in June.

We tend to gravitate towards holidays.LOL I found out I was pregnant with Marah around Labor Day and we got married on Halloween. This Halloween we will celebrate 21 years of marriage.
I married my best friend and I fall in love with him more every day!